On... Asking for Trouble

"What's New", "What's for Dinner", “Is your Christmas shopping done?” and other questions that spark anxiety!

We are revamping our website and considering many options for "departments".  One of them is the common "FAQs" (Frequently Asked Questions).  It wasn't difficult coming up with the questions, or the answers really....since they are frequently asked, we have some fairly standard answers.  What I did realize though, going through the exercise of simply thinking of those questions is that some of them by the mere mention caused my blood pressure to rise.  Perhaps there should be a section called, "PDATQ" - (Please Don't Ask These Questions).....and I could just list the questions and no answers.  
But, of course, can't do that.  So, instead I thought I would just start writing a new "On" article, or people will start asking me "When will you write a new article?"....and that question would fall in the list of "PDATQs".  So, I might gain some insight into my own heart palpitations and get a new article written at the same time!  
It is not just questions at work.  There's also "What's for dinner?"  That one has "oops" written all over it, being the non-cook and last minute person that I am.  It also implies that I am the one who needs to think about this.  Maybe that is the key to the stress-induced little punctuation mark at the end of those seemingly unintentional offensive 3 little words.
I wonder if there are any books or other thoughts published on this subject.  Apparently it has not surfaced enough to educate those who continue to ask question.  Maybe I could find the answers in "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (which is on my list to read as soon as I get all these frequently asked questions in my life answered...ooh....or I could choose it as the next book club book...hmmm....another "On" article waiting to happen).  But, I really don't think that is where the answer lies.  Maybe the answer would be in the book if the title was different, maybe.  "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Children are from Pluto" – oh yes, it could be in there.  Because, at least for me that question seems to come mostly from the kids, or young adults - 24 year olds living at home for the summer.  Didn't I teach them to cook?  Not that I am talking about my own offspring here.....I've done research on a large sampling of the young adult population - 3 of them!  So, is it the question, or is it the fact that I don't have the answer that boils the blood in my veins?  Maybe it is the latter.  Does that mean that the answer to the question posed is "the answer, not the question"....ohhh, getting deep!
Now, let me examine for a minute the "What's New?" Here is a question I get at the quilting industry trade shows, and with almost every customer calling to place an order on the phone. This question is not posed to ask me how things are going, but to truly see what new product we have. One of my largest responsibilities at Quiltsmart is to develop “NEW” product, so if there isn’t any…well, guess where that buck stops….you got it, moi! And, then the question alone causes the hair to stand up and veins to sprout…why, because I must not be doing my job. So, let’s examine that question in real time. “What is new?” – Well, today, we have a new Mondo Bag (great, btw!)… the cover arrived just last week and is still spewing out that wonderful “new cover smell”. Today it is new, but how long will it be “new”? Our website revamp is also “new”, but that might not be new if you are reading this article in the “archive” area of the website (I have been told that some people do this! If you are one of those 2, thank you). So, again, it appears that if there is an answer to the question, then the blood pressure stays in a relatively healthy zone… only to go off the chart when the answer is not known.
Hmmm, so, two answers for two questions. Both answers are that the question is fine if there is an answer. Let’s look at a few more…..
“How are you?” I was always okay with this one until I hit a point in my life where I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t know an answer either. Typically, “How are you?” is more of a friendly greeting than a true want-an-answer question, and is generally answered with “fine, and you?”. Sometimes it is answered with a list of problems, but generally it is not intended for this response. I expressed these thoughts to a friend who said that when she went through similar times she just threw the question back to the asker. I tried it and it worked great. It goes like this…..”How are you?”…..Answer, “Oh, thanks for asking, hey…how are you?”. OR, “So nice to see you, how are you?” Seriously, if you are stuck with this question….try this. Works great. So, here again…the anxiety is caused more from lack of a good answer than from the question itself. 3 for 3. Again, the answer to my probe is that the lack of answer is what is in real question here!

I have done extensive research on this topic since I started writing this article – 20 minutes at least, maybe more, with another large sampling – the Quiltsmart staff. It seems that I am not the only one who gets questions from Pluto and other planets. Did you finish the quilt yet? Would you make this for me? Did you want your hair that way? Did your son get a hold of you? Is that what you are wearing, or were you going to change? Do your tires always look that low? Do you know where my shoes are? Will you take me to get a birthday present for the party this afternoon? Your project is due today? Is your Christmas shopping done?

These questions are causing all of us to run for the nearest blood pressure booth at the discount store. This is doubly dangerous because the running alone could cause the BP to increase beyond an acceptable level! As for the questions…if you are my friend, tell me I look like I am doing well, my hair looks great, and ask what is old.

Wishing you a holiday season full of answers!

Smiles,

Mattie